


Moondust

by resistgenerals



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Finn and Rey are Jedi babies, M/M, Slowburn (I think), Time Passes, Yavin 4, black squadron getting the attention they deserve, there's angst and smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-03
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:00:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22102990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/resistgenerals/pseuds/resistgenerals
Summary: Poe Dameron has the most beautiful eyes in the whole galaxy and Finn doesn’t need proof of this. He knows those dark, deep wells of love and tenderness is all the sheer beauty Finn will ever see, no matter how far and wide he goes. There is quite a stillness in them, a safe place whenever Poe looks at him and each encounter is give and give and give, the man who helped Finn escape his horrendous past never wavers in showing Finn everything he owns.That’s maybe how Finn finds the strength to speak up and say what he needs to say, because throughout the fear and lost, a few things managed to stay the same in Finn’s life and one of them was the fact Poe would always be there for him. No matter what.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 10
Kudos: 46





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Quick notes: In this fic, Snap Wexley is very much alive. I refuse to let Disney get away with killing a perfectly good character for shock value. There’s no reason whatsoever to kill one of Poe’s closest friends, Wedge and Norra’ son and Karé’s husband. As the story unfolds, I explain what happened to Snap and how him not being dead fits in the crappy TROS universe.  
> 

_“And there’s nothing that I can do, except bury my love for you” – Jaymes Young_

There’s definitely a light that never goes out, Poe thinks, as the Resistance keeps up the rhythm and over clock hard work that anyone might’ve thought would be done with as soon as they won the war.

But being who he is and having experienced the things he did, Poe knows that victory, although a hard won ego boosting magnificent achievement doesn’t always mean they can put the blasters down and relax forever. He remembers clearly from the stories growing up, how after the fall of the Empire – and the Sith before that – people had to keep up the good work around the galaxy, preventing sympathizers from reuniting and rising another organization just as evil as the one before.

He knows damn well they need to keep working. He does. But there’s just one minor thing he needs to do first and that is: find the strength and courage to get up from the place he’s currently occupying. Body lazily lying on top of two loading boxes Jess precariously put together to accommodate his drunken form. “I’ll never stop teasing you about how drunk you are, boss”, she said then. And his head safely tucked on top of Finn’s thighs, the other man’s left hand idly playing with Poe’s curls.

If it was any other moment in the history of their friendship, Poe might actually worry about their current disposal and freak out a little bit that maybe his crush on his best friend was finally showing. Only everyone around them seemed to be blessedly drunk after their two day celebration and no one appeared to blink twice when catching sight of how comfortable the generals were with each other.

Poe would’ve blinked twice, if his eyelids weren’t so heavy from inebriation. He isn’t even feeling the sore arm or listening to a word Rey and Rose are exchanging and the two of them _are_ sitting on the floor just at Poe’s feet. 

He is truly helpless to do anything other than focus on the way Finn is caressing his scalp, how he’s humming softly to a melody Poe is sure he never heard before and the warm tingle inside his belly, easily translated to what hope for the future looks like. In the back of his foggy mind he can see Jess and Sura bickering somewhere near, just like he knows Karé’s absence is due to the fact she’s been spending all of her time in the improvised med bay where Snap still hasn’t woken up, Norra and Wedge keeping her company.

Also, in the back of his mind, Poe is playing the conversation he had with Finn just yesterday, when he caught him talking in hushed whispers with Rey, both of them smiling and holding hands. The ugly, unwelcome and unyielding flame of jealousy had made an appearance then, but Poe stayed quiet and waited for the moment when Finn would finally come to him and be straightforward about his feelings for Rey. Even though he didn’t owe Poe any sort of explanation in that field. Kind of.

However, later that day, Finn squeezed between two ships to find Poe sitting on a fallen log, talking quietly with Suralinda and asked if he could talk to Poe in private. And once they were alone under the night sky, Finn told Poe what he needed to tell Rey back when they were being swallowed by the Sinking Fields of Pasaana. He explained about the feelings and undeniable sensations that Rey and Leia could relate to and the galaxy fell into all the right places, so Poe could selfishly breathe again. There was much Poe didn’t understand about the Force or training to become a Jedi, but he told Finn about the tree living in his backyard when Poe was just a kid growing up on Yavin 4. He told Finn about his mom Shara and his dad Kes, their friendship with Leia and Luke and how the tree had been a gift from the latter.

Now, stupidly blessed with smuggled alcohol (“I didn’t steal it! This planet I’ve visited for the last year or so fabricate this _\- shut up_ , Pava – and… Well, just try it, it’s not gonna kill you.” Iolo said when they finally reunited after Exegol, when touching down back in Ajan Poe discovered his friend came to help as well) and blanketed under the nicest breeze, Finn just within arm’s reach and Rey’s voice slowly lulling him into a much deserved nap, Poe couldn’t remember being this happy.

_ _ _

When Finn finally spots Poe, he’s still desperately trying to ignore the sweaty hands and racing heart, all the array of nerves threatening to eat him up from the inside. It’s not like this is a foreign feeling, being a Stormtrooper who deserted the First Order, then joined the Resistance and almost died a handful of times, Finn is _genuinely_ used with being nervous as hell.

A few standard days ago, when against their initial odds the Resistance managed to decimate the fleet of the Final Order and Rey – beautiful, kind, undeniably powerful Rey – defeated Emperor Palpatine, Finn honestly thought he could fly out of sheer happiness. Not only he’d been fighting for good and _won_ , but both the people he loved most in the entire universe survived as well.

There were a bunch of things in life that Finn didn’t remember. Some things were erased, some he was too young to search in his memory for. But _that_ feeling… Not even two more decades of brainwashing could take that away from him. Rey and Poe in his arms, happy, relieved tears streaming down his face and the raw, heart numbing strike of hope. The best part was knowing none of his friends would make fun of him for feeling that way, having experienced that themselves.

What came after was the inevitable agenda of a newly rebuilt Resistance; all the reparations, plans for the future and the common understanding that they won an imminent war and it was one hell of a victory, but there was still work to be done. Oh, but there was…

Even though he was yet to get used to the whole “being a co-general” thing, Finn found himself in a room with Poe and Rey immediately after the hug moment, where both of them agreed that just because it looked like they defeated the First Order, that didn’t necessarily mean all its followers and supporters were also wiped out of the galaxy.

The universe was made of an infinite amount of life, systems, planets and corners they were yet to reach. The Senate, the Republic – old and new – showed themselves to be open to corruption, sooner or later. It would be incredibly reckless to lie off and enjoy the rest of their lives with so much as a contingency plan.

They needed to keep working, to spread every branch of the Resistance along the galaxy and do what they did best: stop an evil organization from taking over innocent lives and destroying everything they ever cherished.

Of course later on, passing the thought along to everyone in the base, they didn’t love the idea, but came to the common understanding that it was for the best and Finn couldn’t be more thankful for Poe, standing by his side at all times, nodding along and encouraging Finn to speak his mind while some doubts and objections arose from the mass.

Following the debriefing, everyone with a ship and a purpose, left the base to keep up the good work wherever they would go next and Finn found himself being pulled aside by none other than Jannah, his fellow former Stormtrooper.

Now, remembering the conversation he had with her and later on with Rey, Finn halts a few meters away from where Poe is elbows deep in his X-Wing, most likely fixing something that’s not really broken, BB-8 milling about, whirling and chirping whenever Poe makes a disgruntled noise and stands his hand to motion the droid onto doing something the man can’t quite reach at the moment.

Suddenly, Finn’s heart feels way too big to fit inside his chest and he needs to take a few breaths, will his pulse to calm down and his sandy throat not to fail him right now. Because he is doomed and he knows that.

He knows it like he knows he loves Rey like the family he never got the chance to have. Like the almighty trees surrounding them, green leafs dancing away with the light breeze catching on the few ships still parked in the clearing. Like the setting sun illuminating them with its yellow-orange rays, painting Poe’s new X-Wing and glowing like the happiness Finn knows he feels in getting to have one of those again.

It’s funny how he just _knows_ and yet is helpless to do anything about it.

He sees Poe moving to come down to ground level, mumbling something to BB-8, who then turns and spots Finn, rolling quickly to him and bumping his legs gently. Finn smiles down at him and doesn’t have to look up to know he’s been spotted by someone else too.

“Hey, general” the smile Poe’s wearing is evident by the tone of his voice, how at ease he feels while walking the few steps to where Finn’s standing. Orange jumpsuit open and hanging from his hips, sleeveless white shirt all smeared with black oil when Finn resentfully stares back at him and the chain around his neck catching the sunlight in an almost hypnotizing manner.

Finn gives Poe a little head nudge as a way of greeting, because he’s not sure his voice is going to sound very nice right about now.

“Me and Beebee were fixing up some burnt wires in the ship. Gotta be prepared, you know?” Poe looks momentarily down at his droid, who beeps cheerily at him, before strolling away claiming he needs to find Rey. Why, Finn’s none the wiser. “I swear, these days he spends more time with her than with me.”

Finn laughs good naturedly, placing both hands on his own hips to try and ground his thoughts. “You’re jealous?”

“Not of him, I’m not.” Poe says rubbing both palms on his already dirty clothes and crossing his arms. There’s a sly tilt to his lips that makes Finn’s stomach flip in a way he learned to identify is very good indeed, but he doesn’t really know what Poe means, so he lets it slide. He needs to focus and getting distracted by Poe’s charms is not the way to go. The other man shakes his head as if having fun with what he finds on Finn’s face and his mouth spreads into a brighter, bigger grin. “So, did you need something?”

Oh.

The worst part of being nervous was how badly Finn would cling to anything that would relieve him from said feeling, fragile as the notion of freedom might seem. He knows it’s fake, that the weight of what he has to say to Poe is still there, clinging to his every bone and shred of sanity. But he also realized a few hours ago that there’s no possible way to sugar cut it. From the moment his conversation with Rey was done, his mind set to a path he could no longer come back from. The idiocy of it all made him laugh then, remembering how just a few days back he wanted to tell her something and how Poe reacted to the fact he couldn’t be part of the talk. Of course, back then, it was something else entirely and it had to do only with how Finn had been able so… Feel and sense a few things he was quite sure nobody else around them could. It turned out that what he had to talk to Rey was a lot more than that, after all.

She is now at the opposite side of the base, talking to Rose and Jannah about transport preparations and Finn is almost knocked out with how bad he doesn’t want to talk to Poe right now. Because then he will have to say… And he _can’t_.

But since Finn’s luck runs out short these days, despite of the amount of good things that happened to him since leaving the First Order, Poe immediately percepts something’s not right and crosses the few steps between him and Finn, placing a gentle but reassuring hand on his upper arm, squeezing momentarily. “Buddy, what’s wrong?”

Poe Dameron has the most beautiful eyes in the whole galaxy and Finn doesn’t need proof of this. He knows those dark, deep wells of love and tenderness is all the sheer beauty Finn will ever see, no matter how far and wide he goes. There is quite a stillness in them, a safe place whenever Poe looks at him and each encounter is give and give and give, the man who helped Finn escape his horrendous past never wavers in showing Finn everything he owns.

That’s maybe how Finn finds the strength to speak up and say what he needs to say, because throughout the fear and lost, a few things managed to stay the same in Finn’s life and one of them was the fact Poe would always be there for him. No matter what.

“I’m leaving,” Finn blurts out and instantly recoils. Okay, that was smooth. “I mean… I’m going on a- on a mission. Sort of.”

He knows there isn’t much coherence in what he just said, Poe furrowing his brown and squinting at him, probably trying to put the pieces together.

Finn purses his lips and looks at all the wilderness around them, the few people going to and fro, the sky turning from orange to a dark pink now, shades of purple shyly appearing here and there. “I decided to go back with Jannah, to… You know, find the others. We thought maybe there are more of us, I sure as hell thought _I_ was the only one and yet here she is. Her whole company deserted, Poe, all of them. So we think there might be others and we want to find them, bring them back with us or even just… Just talk about the fact we’re still alive, you know?”

He congratulates himself for finishing up without passing out from nervousness. Finn is aware that Poe knows what he’s talking about, having told him everything Jannah said about the other Stormtroopers just a few days back. But he also hadn’t thought about what it may look like saying this now to his friend, _co-general_ , that he decided with someone else to go on off planet on yet another mission and he feels wary to tell him he didn’t just discuss it with Jannah, but with Rey too. 

Poe doesn’t say anything at first, his face giving away nothing of what he’s thinking and feeling, only easing the creases on his forehead, because now there are no doubts about what Finn needed to tell him.

And then it happens.

Poe’s face just… Crashes. It happens in a split second and Finn thinks he must’ve imagined it: the mouth quirking down, shoulders slumping and breath wheezing out in a rush of disbelief. A shadow of hurt and confusion passes his eyes but soon is replaced by a neutral, peer shaped gaze that clearly means “focus, focus, focus”.

“When?” Poe asks and this time he is the one averting his gaze to the trees just behind Finn’s head.

“Tomorrow.”

He nods, places both hands on his waist like he does so many times, when he’s thinking about the next move on a very complicated mission or attempting to stand his ground and command something or someone.

Finn is a tad confuse, because he was so damn sure even through his most terrible fears about how this could go, that Poe would support him. That he would understand and give Finn his blessing. That he would…

“You ever planned on asking me to go along?” the tone carrying Poe’s voice picked at Finn’s heart and _clutched_. 

It took him a moment to find the words spiraling inside his brain. “We’re both generals, I thought… Since we agreed on keeping the work of the Resistance, I thought… That this was something I had to do.”

Because it was. There wasn’t any particular meaning behind Finn’s intentions, just the fact that there was this small thing about his past life that instead of making him dread it, only served to pester his instincts to go forward. To search. To spread his word and history along to others. Maybe this was a part of his identity he needed to discover and the moment was now. He could feel it. But he could also see he should’ve asked, should’ve at least tried to pry Poe on going along. Now he was deep inside a giant mess in the form of his friend feeling left out. Yet again.

“Is Rey going too?” Poe finally looks up at Finn and there isn’t a single hint of jealousy or irritation here. In fact, his face is completely blank.

Finn doesn’t need to answer though. Can’t. His tongue seems to have expanded inside his throat and he cannot, for the life of him, understand how it came to this. _It’s just a mission_ , he wants to say. _I’ll come back, I promise_. But he doesn’t voice it, nor does Poe tries to pull it out of him.

They just stand there. The enormous weight of everything they spent together hanging around the air and making it hard to ease things down with a simple joke. Some sarcastic comment so known to them that would only make things worse right now.

Poe takes his silence as the only answer he needs, apparently and as fast as it went away, his smile is back in place. Full on teeth show, grinning white and cheerful and Finn can feel his own head spinning with the sudden change. “Good for you, buddy,” he pats Finn’s arm again, but his hand doesn’t linger this time. “You’re right to do so. This… This is your path, huh? I’m proud of you. For real.”

Finn knows Poe is telling the truth, his eyes would never lie, even when his body language is screaming something is off. And as bad as he wants to say something, to ask if they should talk more about this, courage flees faster than he could grasp for it.

“Well, you should get ready then. I’ll see you before you leave, buddy.” Poe says as if there isn’t an evident barrier crashing in front of their very forms, sounding genuinely interested and Finn feels all kinds of wrong out.

He knew it was not going to be easy, just like he knows Poe understands. The thing is, he hates when they have to go separate ways too, though they never explicitly said so. But Finn knows. And Poe knows. And probably everyone else knows and even so he’s powerless to do anything other than watch Poe walk away. Not back to his X-Wing or turning around to pull Finn into his arms, assuring him that everything will be okay and crush any doubt still lingering between them.

Finn sees Poe walking away that day, dark curly hair all messy and askew. Orange jumpsuit and hard, tanned muscles shining in a very Dameron way to be effortlessly handsome. His back is the only thing Finn stares at for what feels like forever. 

And little did he know that they wouldn’t see each other for a long, long time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any errors you guys can take up with my non-existent beta. Seriously though, it’s very tiresome to review your own story, so I apologize for any grave mistakes. But if you're willing to let me know where it is, I'a appreciate it. 
> 
> Going against what I previously stated, this song is very much finnpoe to me.
> 
> Also, I am SO SORRY this chapter is boring and has all these annoying paragraphs without dialogue, I just want to clarify as many things as possible, so the other chapters are more interesting and action providers. 
> 
> “_ _ _” – change of POV  
> “* * *” – same POV
> 
> _*_ 

_“When the whistle blows and we pull out slow, this is where I build my home. And I wait for you so patiently, letting you find your own… If you wanna ride, you can come out and see me, I could be home by now” – Bombay Bicycle Club_

One Year Later

“Dameron, don’t make me go in there and drag your sorry ass all the way to base! You know damn well I will!” Suralinda Javos yells for the whole galaxy to hear, pounding on the door and causing Poe to laugh against his better judgment. No matter how much time he spent being their leader, every single member of Black Squadron treats him like they’re only pals picking at each other’s nerves. Except when they’re on a mission, flying high on the dark of the galaxy and the only thing to rely upon is the mutual trust they’ve been sharing for a lifetime now.

But Poe would be lying to say he doesn’t enjoy the easy way they communicate, the fact he can call all of them his friends, not only work mates. That when he’s up high or down under, they’ll always have his back and that the feeling is mutual.

He slides the door of the fresher open to find Sura splayed on top of his bed, flipping through the book previously sitting there. BB-8 is nowhere to be seen, which means the droid too got tired of waiting for Poe and left without him.

Sura lifts her piercing light-brown gaze from the pages, only to roll her eyes at him. She’s already wearing the flying suit, her hair pulled up in a ponytail. “Well, took you long enough.”

“Am I that late? Where’s BB?” Poe questions while moving about the process of zipping up his own gear, glancing sideways at the little mirror on his desk to make sure his hair isn’t the huge mess it was half an hour ago when he woke up.

“You’re not late, I’m just here because Jess and Iolo were yelling at each other already at the crack of dawn and Bria started to cry and you know how I get…”

“…murderous.” Poe supplied, smiling. 

“Yes, so I said I’d come by to pick you up. More like drag you out of your misery.” She stares judgingly at him, head to toe and Poe holds her gaze when it finds his. There’s that split second when both of them are well aware of what it’s going to be said, but neither one speaks.

Truth is, in the past few months he’s gotten used to it. The way Jess will sometimes stay over at his place way into the night, sharing a bottle of something strong enough to knock them down for the rest of the week, but that doesn’t seem to erase the enormous tension hanging from the things they don’t talk about. Or how Iolo pats Poe in the back once in a while, giving him a sympathetic smile and nodding to something unsaid, as if he can read Poe’s mind or something equally unfathomable. Snap, now almost fully recovered from the crash on Exegol, healing from multiple burns all over his body and the broken leg that’s going to cause him to limp for the rest of his life, insisting on coming over for dinner with Karé at least once a week.

But really, Poe couldn’t be better and he doesn’t comprehend why everyone is pitting him when there is nothing to be said or done regarding his current situation. Not that he _wants_ to do something about it. No. Of course not. He is completely satisfied with the path his life’s taken over the past year.

He managed to go back to his old home on Yavin, along with all the members from his squadron to rehabilitate the old rebel base in the city, which is doing fine, thank you very much. Living a life he thought was never going to be possible, Poe now gets to see his dad more often than not. They had a serious conversation when Poe told Kes he was going to come home in order to keep doing the Resistance’s good work; his old man proceeded to inform Poe he could have their family house and every other piece of land around the ranch and that he was going to the stale farm at the edge of the city, previously belonging to one of Kes’ oldest friend, but now having no one to look after it.

Poe had been against it, claiming his dad didn’t have to move out just because he was coming back, only you don’t get to win over Kes Dameron in a discussion and he assured Poe time and again that he’d been postponing taking care of that farm too long and that’s what his deceased friend would’ve wanted.

At least now there weren’t planets separating son from father and Poe was glad to have just a few minutes’ drive between him and the man he called dad.

So life wasn’t bad, like, at all. He was still a resistance general commanding a whole base of operations from Yavin and his squadron loved and respected him. Well, mostly. Sometimes they did.

The exception being those few moments when one of them would try to pry something out of Poe, even though he felt like there wasn’t anything to be said.

Before Sura could speak, he hurries to ask again, cautiously averting his gaze to the door. “You never said if Beebee left or not.”

He hears her heavy sigh. “Yep, your droid went ahead. Come on, we should go too.”

She doesn’t say anything else and they leave the house on foot, walking briskly to the base, passing other citizens and watching as the light of day greets them from up in the sky. Poe knows Sura wants to say more, he can practically feel the tension vibing out of her and hitting him square in the chest, but she keeps her steps firm and deliberate, strutting with the same confidence from the day he met her and it downs on him they won’t be having this conversation now, but sometime in the future.

Reaching the hangar what salutes them is an image of day-to-day life that settles Poe’s nerves a little bit. The X-wings are aligned forming some sort of barrier to the entrance of the base, along with other training ships and the familiar figures of his squadron, plus the head of operations they recruited when first leaving Ajan. Bria Sutro is one of the smartest people Poe’s ever met and it doesn’t escape him she’s only twenty five. Then again, age doesn’t attest for wisdom, if his experience in life has any say in it. She looks a lot like Karé, with her short blond hair, but her skin is lighter and she is (quite literally) always smiling and being positive and trying to lift everyone’s moods, even though looking around them Poe can guess it is not working.

Jess is leaning on her ship, arms crossed and eyes closed; probably taking a nap while standing so she won’t get reprimanded. Iolo, sitting crossed legged on the floor, has his datapad in hand and doesn’t lift his attention from it when Poe and Sura approach.

“It’s just the four of you today, right?” Bria waves at them and to the sound of her cheery voice, Jess jumps to life, blinking rapidly but quickly catching herself when her eyes lay on Poe, who shakes his head at her, smiling nonetheless.

As if offended to be left out of Bria’s counting, BB-8 chooses that moment to make an appearance, rolling from behind Poe’s X-wing and bumping on his dad’s knee to bare him good morning.

“Hey buddy, where’ve you been?” Poe pats him affectionately on the top of the head and receives some beep’s and boop’s in return.

Bria clears her throat in the background and everyone finally turns to pay mind to what she has to say. Holding her own datapad, sorting through it for a few seconds she goes on in the same motion they’re already pretty used to. “Karé and Snap will conduct training today, along with Commander Shriv and Zay. I have the infos for the reconnaissance and will send them your way as soon as you’re up there. The planet is not too far from this system, Teza says she’ll meet you in the landing platform just outside the city and Poe can go in with her, while the rest of you stand guard, okay?” She pointedly looks to each of them until they all nod their understanding, Iolo pushing himself up to his feet. It’s not new information, since the whole squadron went over these same plans yesterday, but it can’t hurt to review ‘em. “There’s something else that came in this morning.”

At this, Poe narrows his eyes to the way Bria looks down at the datapad, not seeming to be staring at anything special, just deliberately not staring at _them_ anymore.

“What is it?” he questions sounding more anxious than he would want to let on in front of the others.

Visibly chewing the inside of her cheek, Bria says, “There’s income from Ajan. Apparently they’ve been intercepting some important information and… Rose is sending a team to Yavin to meet with us today.”

Iolo whistles quietly, suddenly finding the tops of his boots much more interesting than looking directly at Poe. BB-8 bumps his legs again, obviously understanding what implies this new statement coming from Bria, beeping inquisitively up at Poe, hope pouring out of the sounds.

Poe’s heart skips a few important beats. “Is it an emergency? Is everyone okay?”

“As far as I know, everyone is safe and sound. It’s just routine procedure.” Bria shrugs.

From the corner of his eye, Poe can see Sura looking at him and steadily doesn’t look back at her.

“Okay. Black squadron will stay on this mission and help out Teza with the information she gave us. When the team from Ajan arrives…” Poe needs to stop because his voice catches in this part. “Make sure they’re comfortable around the base. We’ll be back as soon as possible.”

He thinks it’s a little worrisome that Bria didn’t even have to say the names of the members constituting the arriving team. Even her, that was recruited a while after the Battle of Exegol seems to be aware of whatever story people relate to Poe and… Finn.

Shit. Finn.

He wouldn’t go as far as saying that it’s been a while since he thought about Finn; Poe thinks about Finn every damn day. At night, when nothing can be heard except for the soft, lulling sounds of tree leafs soaring through the breeze or smooth whirring of BB-8 charging station sitting at the corner of Poe’s bedroom, he lays on top of the covers and just lets his mind wander. It never goes far, rare are the times when Poe’s thoughts get to stick on anything that isn’t the massive hole left inside his chest where Finn used to live.

Somewhere deep within the reason wells of his soul, Poe is fully aware that the whole thing is slightly dramatic, since neither of them is dead or had an ugly fight over something irreversible. Hell, in the year that went by he and Finn actually communicated a lot, over messages and comms, brief videos played on debriefings where they exchanging a few secretive glances towards each other.

It’s not like Finn is a stranger to him now.

But as Poe flies up with the rest of Black Squadron, their silence on the comms unmistakably charged with tension, he cannot, for the life of him, stop thinking about Finn. Not while laying in bed at night, the four walls around him protecting his thoughts from spiraling out into the open, but sitting inside his X-wing, staring out the transparisteel with the morning sky turning darker and darker until it transforms to the galaxy blanket of black and stars.

A light starts blinking on his panel and Poe looks down to find the infos Bria was talking about, sending the others the coordinates to Arda-2. They’re going to meet with Teza Nasz, after she sent message to the base at Yavin 4 – closest to where she’d been – about a group of First Order supporters still remaining and spreading word of supremacy to other potential allies.

For now, it was a cold case, not much action had been happening around since Exegol, but Poe would bet all his credits that those organizations thrived in the shadows and grew faster than the blink of an eye.

“All right, black squadron, set formation to Arda-2 and pay attention to any income.” Poe said through the comm, hearing BB-8 chirp sympathetically.

“Copy that, black one.” Came Jess’ answer and the others followed suit.

Entering his usual mission mode, Poe pushed all thoughts of Finn to the corner of his mind and focused on what lay ahead.

At least for the time being.

_ _ _

“Permission to land?”

“Come in, team AK, the hangar is all yours.”

Finn looks out the _Millenium Falcon_ from where he’s sitting as Rey’s co-pilot, to all the greens and oranges and sandy beige surrounding them. He can’t help gasping in amazement at how pretty it all looks. Not like the blinding, never ending green from Ajan Kloss, but a much sparser, soft looking one. Yavin 4 meets every single one of Finn’s expectations and yet, manages to take his breath away for a moment, when mere seconds ago he thought he was going to pass out from all the nerves.

In the back of his mind, Finn listens to Rey turning off the ship after they touch ground. Rose – who decided to come with them this time – says something about sending back a message to Connix, considering the poor woman stayed with the walking mayhem: C-3PO, R2-D2 and Chewbacca. Only none of it registers, not really.

“Everything all right?” Rey’s voice is barely a whisper inside the crammed up space and Finn takes a few breaths before turning her way.

He stares at her for a long time before speaking. Rey Skywalker. His best friend in the whole world, with her neatly concocted buns and the unwavering kind eyes that seem to always read exactly what Finn is not saying. It’s easy for him to relate to her even more these days, since she became Finn’s sort of jedi master, now that every other one was gone, as far as they knew, at least.

The same light colors Rey started to wear a long time ago, are a part of Finn’s wardrobe now. Long were the dark brown shirt and the blue paints; although they still lay inside Finn’s closet back in Ajan, he became more and more comfortable with wearing the beige sleeveless jacket and the white shirt underneath. His light brown paints set the look he now didn’t exactly related to his time back with the First Order. Finn chose not to forego the black and white in his life anymore, now that he was able to feel life itself pulsing through him, it was Finn and Finn only, who made the choice to let the past be where it fitted best: in the past.

Throughout the way, Rey kept telling him how important what lays inside of him is, that the strongest connection Finn needed to have did not relate to the past, present or future, but with all that lives within his being and that is always in sync with the rest of the universe.

At the time Finn thought he would never be able to do what Rey did, to connect and let it flow through him without catching anything in between. But although slow and frustrating sometimes, they were now way ahead on both their trainings and Finn felt shamelessly proud of the metal hilt hanging from his belt now.

Finn knows he and Rey share a strong force bond that goes beyond what either of them can explain, so it’s not surprising when she smiles at him and places her hand briefly on top of his on the console. She _knows_ and Finn is, once again, overwhelmingly grateful to have her in his life.

They exchange brief nods of reassurance and turn around to see Rose standing in the hallway, conveniently looking down at her datapad and waiting for them to follow her out.

When they walk out of the _Falcon,_ Bria – the woman Finn had seen multiple times over vid calls, but never met in person – is standing in front of the entrance to the base. She smiles politely at them, even more so when she see their faces after being hit square in the chest with Yavin’s hot, clinging weather wave.

“Sorry.” Bria scrunches up her nose as they approach her. “It’s a bit hot in here, you’ll get used to as the day wears off.”

“Ajan is pretty hot too.” Rose supplies, smiling back at her, the two of them exchanging a look for more than five seconds, that causes Finn to turn to Rey and they both suppress their own smiles, although he knows she’s thinking the same thing he is.

Bria clears her throat before addressing all of them. “Black squadron is off planet on a mission, so I’ll show you guys around until they get here for the meeting, okay?”

“Sounds good.” Rey answers, catching sight of Finn’s slightly wide eyes.

So Poe is not here.

Not now, at least. Finn thinks that if he was there, Bria wouldn’t be the only one greeting them outside, but soon the thought was obscured with the fact he hadn’t seen Poe for over a year and lot can change in that time.

The thought is almost enough to wrench a laugh out of Finn jittery chest, because it couldn’t be further from the truth. As clear as he knows his name and the lines along the palms of his hand, Finn knows nothing’s changed in the way he feels about Poe.

“So this was Massassi outpost,” Rey comments idly when they enter the base, following Bria as she takes her time pointing out what is what and where is where. “It’s huge.”

“It is,” Bria agrees. “Although there are not a lot of people around anymore, we still manage to use a great amount of space,” she lowers her voice as if telling a secret. “The structure is not that good these days, so a lot of rooms aren’t habitable.”

A few people pass by them, going about day-to-day routine, but Finn catches some sideway glances thrown their way that can only be translated to awed curiosity. Bria keeps on going, leading them through to corridors much like the ones in Ajan and D’Qar before that. Rock hard, unpolished walls rough to the touch line the floors covered in small pebbles and dirt. But the place itself is somewhat clean and welcoming, the sense of familiarity that comes with being surrounded by friendly folks and beeping monitors, mapping the entire galaxy.

And even though Finn knows better, he keeps jumping up with every corner they turn, expecting Poe to show up any second. It doesn’t happen, of course, and the next time Bria swivels the group is to enter an empty room, with large windows on the opposite wall and a square command table in the middle. There’s a structure lining the walls, forming one single bench along its length, which Bria points out for Rey, Rose and Finn to seat on.

They do, while she goes look through the window. “The recruits are done training.”

Not more than five minutes after she says it, two figures walk inside the room, one of them limping slightly but portraying a wide grin that lights up his face in a way Finn hadn’t seen in forever.

Karé and Snap both perk up and practically yelp in their excitement to great the newcomers. Finn feels his chest expand with how happy he is to see Snap up and about, walking with his own legs and being uncharacteristically positive while commenting about his recovery, after giving Finn a smothering hug. Even Rey can’t stop smiling when they fall into a more relaxed conversation, consisting on basic updates from both sides and Finn is helpless to be anything other than at home, as much as he’s still a bit agitated.

While Karé is telling something about inexperienced young male recruits – Snap tries to point out there’s one girl that so happens to be a bit reckless herself, but one look from his wife has him shutting up immediately, which makes Finn smile because he really missed these two – when a distant rumbling noise causes all of them to jump up off their seats in seconds, Finn not realizing he’s reached the door and is practically running towards the hangar, until Rey catches up with him.

He turns to her, unable to smile or say anything, his heart pounding furiously inside his chest, but of course she gets it and simply squeezes his arm briefly, showing off her dimples.

Finn doesn’t look back to see if Bria, Rose, Snap and Karé joined them at some point, eyes too busy staring ahead to the three X-wings touching down right next to the _Falcon_. Needless to say he is almost crashed with the wave of relief mixed with bitter disappointment when he properly counts Suralinda, Jess and Iolo hopping down from their ships and Poe isn’t amongst them.

Trying to hide whatever is probably written all over his features, Finn smiles openly at the newcomers, the first one to reach him being Suralinda, her smile matching his in size and excitement. Except her teeth are _way_ sharper.

“Sura!” Finn exclaims allowing the longing one only feels after being away from one’s friends for too long. Suralinda hugs him tight and Finn returns it as best as he can.

Around him greetings and embraces are being exchanged and soon enough Jess and Iolo are the ones telling Finn how long it’s been.

“We thought your mission would take longer,” Rose says after they all break from the hugs to form some sort of circle in front of the entrance.

Jess shrugs. “There wasn’t much to look at.”

“Not for now, at least.” Iolo completes.

“Where’s Poe?” Bria asks directing it to Black Squadron and Finn can feel his heart speeding up again. He thinks he might imagine it, but Sura looks at him carefully and quickly, before answering.

“Taking a turn around the planet. You know, precautions.”

Finn holds his breath and counts to five, because he definitely doesn’t miss the air of doubt surrounding the environment and pouring out of their friends. It’s obvious to anyone with eyes and brains that this isn’t ordinary behavior. That maybe there are other reasons for Poe to be up in the sky right now, when his team already touched down.

“He’ll be here soon, let’s go inside then.” Jess motions, throwing a smile to Rey that Finn almost doesn’t notice.

Almost.

* * *

They don’t start debriefing right away, since there’s only one general present and Finn soon finds he can’t stay inside that room anymore, with everyone talking and laughing and bonding over their time lost.

He excuses himself when Suralinda takes a break from their talk about cantina dynamics (whatever it means) and smiles reassuringly to Rey, when she motions to accompany him, signaling that everything is okay, before walking outside for the second time that day.

Finn can only guess what his reaction looked like to the others, leaving the room all silent and brooding (as Rey never failed to point out, even though she would smile fondly at him afterwards). But his chest felt too heavy, the air around Yavin crushing Finn’s bones to the point of an uncomfortable unease that wouldn’t let him be.

As part of the Resistance’s new chain of command, he knew what being a professional committed to the cause of rebuilding meant. Stay focused. Don’t let your emotions distract you from the common good. Follow orders from your superiors. And most important, participate on decisive meetings, even when your heart is trying to jump out of your body.

Said reaction, however, escaped Finn’s idea of an expected behavior. He knew well enough what missing someone entailed. He’d gone through that before and survived. He knew, also, that in the midst of war, friends had to separate and go different ways to complete missions, and fulfill mutual interests. Deep down inside of him, Finn was sure that everyone he loved was bound to find him again. Eventually. Even if it took some long, painful time.

At that moment, looking out at the Yavin vast, blue sky, the sunset looming over them and the trees creating a beautiful, endless landscape, he could feel melancholy climbing up from the pit of his stomach to the tendrils of his brain, clouding his vision and stealing the breath away from his lungs.

He was nervous.

And that’s how Jess Pava found him. Standing in front of the base, the hard floor beneath his feet quiet and still, so different from the rumbling surface from when they first parked the ship. Everyone else is inside, so the only noise around them is the almost caressing twirl of leafs from the trees.

“He’ll be here soon, you know?”

Her voice comes from his left, but instead of prostrating herself directly on Finn’ side, she goes to lean on the side of her X-Wing. It is no surprise to anyone that Jess is a beautiful woman. All imposing stance, black long hair flowing behind her; the orange jumpsuit open and strapped on her waist, a white sleeveless shirt covering her from waist up. She reminds him so much of Rey and Rose, the way nothing seems to phase her beliefs or change her responses. Jess Pava had a different aura, witty and stubborn and Finn liked having her around. Even if she was too smart for him to feel completely comfortable.

He even manages to pretend not knowing what she means, pursing his lips and looking everywhere but her piercing gaze.

Jess crosses her arms and shrugs once. “You’ve been here for a few hours now and I can tell you didn’t ask about him on purpose.”

The tone she uses isn’t accusatory, but carries a conversational air, like she’s threading a dangerous ground and doesn’t want to set off a cascade effect.

Finn could easily blow her off, claiming to be merely checking on the _Falcon_ , only even in his head the lie sounds stupid. And this is Jess, one of the smartest, most badass women of all of Finn’s encounters. Han’s voice sang to him that line he was never going to forget. 

With a violently pounding heart, Finn turns to really look at her and they lock eyes, an earnest understanding passing between them. “Is he okay?”

He shouldn’t have said that. Finn had plenty of previous experience to know that human interactions were like a mining field. Thread without being cautious, and you can blow everything up the skies. Although he had always tried to stay true to himself, recent – okay, maybe not that recent – events had shown him that life was more complicated than simple hugs and honest goodbyes. He figured he could do with a bit of carefully rehearsed behavior. Rey would disagree, though, she would tell him to quit being a whiny baby and stand up straight. Be who he wanted to be and say what he wanted to say. Lies and scheming tended to lead an ugly path to heartbreak.

And he already been hiding the way he felt all day. Jumping whenever someone walked into the room, staying as quiet as possible, straining his ears for any motor sound in the sky. Suddenly, Finn realized he was immensely tired of pretending and those years away from the first friend he ever made, weighted down on him with such brutal force, he felt his knees giving way a bit.

Jess, bless her, didn’t show her emotions so blatantly at first, just sighed and shrugged again. “You know how he is. Strong. Resigned. Won’t talk about his real feelings most of the times. A pat on the back and some reckless, last minute decision here. A nice speech about family and taking good care of each other there. I guess as fine as any of us can possibly be.”

Finn takes a few seconds to chew on that. His heart aches, spreading a wave of physical pain through him. “Why isn’t he here, though? He knew we were coming, right?”

She stops, seeming conflicted about how to answer. Finn thinks it is understandable, because Poe is her boss and everything, and her long term friend. Finn could only imagine she wouldn’t want to break his trust.

“He knew there was a party coming our way for some outer planet exploring. The missions we’ve been getting are low profile, so the squadron is taking everything in stride. But this time it looks like we might need help, so Bria takes care of communications, including the one you guys sent from Ajan Kloss. He let her do it and oversee the arrival. There’s been…” And here Jess seems to come to terms with how much she is willing to say. Her mouth spread into a sly smile and Finn feels a pull of familiarity, forcing him to imitate the gesture. “Some trade ships roaming about, scattered around our radar, probably lying low. Nothing too big and the scans haven’t picked up any weapons being drawn. He’s been going to some recon shifts all by himself, keeping a safe distance,” she added seeing the way Finn’s breath hitches. “He and Beebee Ate are in constant comm reach and Ruda’l has been keeping the scanners live and in synch with his every movement.”

Bathing on this new set of information, Finn relishes on how ordinary it all sounds. They spent the last year with what was left of the Resistance, monitoring and rebuilding, trying to prevent a new evil force from rising. The stillness of it all didn’t mean there was no harm to be done against the winning side and the remains of the First Order sympathizers loomed all over the galaxy, making it their job to stay alert at all times.

Finn’ smile grows bigger once he thinks of how much the whole thing makes sense. Jess laughs quietly, shaking her head and rolling her eyes at him. “Distance means nothing to the two of you, huh? You still think the same way. Helpless galaxy boys.”

He opens his mouth to ask what she means, although he does not want to know at all, when a faint, distant sound catches his ears by surprise. Finn’s heart does a backwards flip, his eyes widening a bit, turning to the sky above them.

He hears Jess laughing again, but can’t find the strength turn back to her. Footsteps approach and she places a gentle hand on his shoulder. “You guys behave. It’s good to see you again.”

And with that she’s gone, leaving Finn to wait with wild, jittery nerves, for the growing shape of an X-Wing on the sky to turn into the one thing he’d been missing for what feels like too long.

* * *

_“I just think back on it all...”_

Without realizing he’s doing it, Finn holds his breath, both hands close into fists by his sides. None of it is on purpose, because his brain is completely shut off and the only thing grounding him are the vicious beats coming from the heart. He thinks he’s going to pass out and is suddenly grateful that no one else is around to see it.

(Something tells him that Finn needs to thank Jess for that).

When the cockpit opens, the light from the sun is shining directly on it, so he doesn’t get to see him for a few seconds, only making out the movements he makes while taking the helmet off. But it’s really all it takes.

Seeing Poe’s silhouette jumping from the ship and landing on the hangar concrete floor, Finn is reminded of a few other times he’s been in the same place, standing on firm ground and seeing the other man a few feet from him, close to his X-wing and only noticing Finn’s presence because BB-8 alerted him.

A most welcome smile spreads across Finn’s lips when he sees it happening again, BB-8 beeping loudly and excited, mixing words and exclamations, until Poe turns around finally – _finally_ – and looks directly at Finn.

There’s a moment of complete stillness, where Poe takes two steps forward and then the sun is no longer blinding his features, but shining brightly behind him and Finn can really see now. It’s easy to discern every part of him, from the orange jumpsuit and white gear, to the rumpled black curls that look exactly the same as Finn remembers; the stubble painting his jaw as Poe walks closer and those dark, honey eyes that do all sorts of things to Finn’s insides and whatever weirdness that might’ve grown between them provided by distance and miscommunication, is violently shucked away because… Poe is here. _Here_. And so is Finn.

Later Finn will think it’s impossible for something to happen slow and fast at the same time, but this is the only way to explain what happened in that split moment when the distance between them was shattered into a million pieces, to be replaced by the crash of their bodies together.

How Poe’s hand rested on Finn’s shoulder and just _pulled_ him in, immediately holding him in place, inside both arms. Or the greedy manner with which Finn’s own arms closed around Poe’s waist and he buried his face on the other man’s neck, breathing and breathing and breathing. He could feel Poe doing the same, his nose slightly cold from being inside that cockpit for a while, pressing down on Finn’s warm skin, smiley lips touching Finn and making him shiver.

It’s an embrace between two friends that haven’t seen each other for the longest time. It’s completely platonic, Finn thinks.

But it still makes him incredibly giddy to feel Poe’s chest pressed against his after a whole year without seeing each other in person. He sighs deeply when it seems like they’ve been hugging forever and neither of them makes the first move to break it.

This is Poe, after all, and they never were the type of friends to tune down their affection for fear of being misunderstood. This is a certainty Finn will take with him for as long as he lives. 

Of course, it can’t last for eternity, because if up until now he was showing some respectable distance in order for the moment to unravel, BB-8 is finally done with their bullshit. He rolls to where they’re standing and bumps forcefully on Finn’s legs, causing both of them to break apart, laughing. Without letting go of Poe, though, Finn smiles down at his droid friend.

“Hey, buddy, I missed you too!”

When he looks up again, Poe is sporting one of his wide grins that makes his eyes squint and has the power to light up the entire galaxy. Finn grins back, eyes scanning Poe’s face, skin burning with the knowledge Poe still got both hands on Finn’s shoulders.

“It’s so good to see you,” Finn whispers because he can’t help himself, meaning every single word with his very soul, knowing it is bare for Poe to see and think whatever he may. Finn couldn’t care less, not right now. Not when Poe is real and firm under his hands, holding all gravity to make sure Finn isn’t dreaming.

His smile softens and one of his palms grazes Finn lightly on the cheek, before falling away. “You have no idea how good it is to see you too.” Poe mumbles and Finn has a faint idea, yes.

Although he wants to stay there for a little longer, to have Poe looking at him as if he can’t believe Finn is really here, there’s a nagging voice whispering in the back of his mind that they should probably go back inside the base, since the others most likely heard his arrival.

As if reading his mind, Poe nods and rolls his eyes a bit, squeezing Finn’s shoulder one more time before letting go completely and Finn has to do his best not to let it show on his face how much the loss of contact actually hurts. Because it would be ridiculous, right?

And no one needs to know that while they’re walking to the building and Poe keeps stealing glances his way, Finn’ secretive smiles finding his, before they slowly turn to look ahead at BB-8 rolling in front of them, his body does this gravitational leaning and their shoulders bump more often than not. It’s really no big deal.

* * *

Finn thinks it’s only fair that after entering the debrief room and more hugs were distributed all over, that he and Poe strayed. Now each general is standing on opposite sides of the table, Rey on Finn’s left and Iolo on his right. Stupid as it may be though, he doesn’t refrain from looking at Poe as frequently as he can get away with it.

“So, both our infos add up, is that it?” Rose starts the discussion and Bria nods.

Poe’s arms are crossed over his chest, a serious shadow passing through his face. “When we got to Arda-2, me and Teza went into the city to look around and check the clues she’s been given by the citizens,” Poe sighs heavily before continuing. “Apparently there’s a group of First Order sympathizers making some noise around the galaxy, not loud enough to be consider a crime, but persistent and in the right moments, it seems.”

“What we heard it’s pretty much the same,” Finn pipes in. “Some rich idiots looking to spend their money sponsoring the next Order slash Empire.”

“It’s nothing of that magnitude, though.” Rey says.

“Yet,” Iolo counters.

“There’s no law enforcement apart from the planet’s own and people are not exactly scared, but they can feel something is going on,” Poe continues. “Trade ships won’t stop touching ground and merchants are giving no explanation whatsoever about what’s being carried.”

“Think it might be weapons?” Rose questions and it’s Finn who shakes his head and answers.

“Don’t think so. Like Rey said, they’re not that big to be going about using blasters, I mean, what would they be fighting anyway?”

“They could be arming the citizens.” Karé suggests, but it is with little meaning.

Poe purses his lips. “The people are not that invested. Arda-2 used to be an industrial planet and although it’s much better looking now, there’s no rich population aside from the ones coming inside those trade ships.”

“Are they staying in the city?” Rey asks and Poe nods.

Finn looks at him and he looks back, blinking a few times and gesturing for Finn to keep going. “Jannah intercepted some ground communication about some important gathering happening on Arda-2 next month. She thought it might be smoke and mirrors, but after checking with Bria and finding out about Teza’s discovery, we think these things are related.”

“So, there’s going to be a big party next month and there’s a good chance those First Order lovers assholes are behind it, trading whatever it is those ships are carrying and trying to convince people to start yet another evil parade around the galaxy?” Jess questions darting her eyes all over the room.

“Man, this is one hell of a déjà vu.” Suralinda comments, her expression making it obvious what she’s referring to and Finn can’t help but smile.

“I’m gonna talk to Teza, because we need to get in that party.” Poe says.

There’s a murmur of agreement across the room, although none of them look that much excited about it.

“Guess this means team Ajan Kloss is staying to help?” Snap asks, surveying the room significantly.

Lifting his eyes to him, Finn finds Poe already looking his way, fighting what seems to be a smile from spreading across his face and Finn has to bite the inside of his cheek for the same reason. But their gazes remain locked in place, even when Rey speaks for the whole room to hear, “Yes, we’re staying.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO SORRY this took so long, I was deep in a 911 binge watch and I have no regrets, because this tv show is one of the best I've ever watched (shout out to my newest otp, Buddie). But here it is, the domesticity chapter I've wanted to write since I first laid eyes on Finnpoe. 
> 
> Sorry for any errors, you can let me know if they're that bad. Also, inaccuracies regarding the Star Wars universe are bound to happen, because I'm too lazy to do any research, so bear with me.

_“We’re trying to get away, trying to clear the path from everything we buried in the aftermath” – The Script_

“You’re welcome to stay here at base for the time being, we still have a few rooms left,” Bria announces as they all file out of the debriefing room, Poe bringing up the rear, trying his hardest not to smile when he sees from the corner of his eye Finn prostrating himself by his side.

It’s a silent sort of dance, Poe muses internally, that while people are walking normally around them, the two generals seem to practically gravitate towards each other. He obviously doesn’t mind, not when Finn’s arm brushes lightly against his and Poe needs to physically hold his gaze steady and forward, where he can see Sura and Jess’ heads bent together while they whisper to each other… Conspiratorially.

Poe narrows his eyes at them, but before he can say anything, Rey addresses Bria with a gentle smile. “Thanks, we’d appreciate that.”

“Oh, but we forget!” Suralinda makes a show of slapping a hand across her face and pursing her lips disapprovingly. “Teza is coming here too, remember Pava? She said she’d be staying in Yavin with us for a couple of days.”

Jess nods, too quickly to come off as innocent. “Yes! And apparently she’s… Uh, bringing two of her contacts here as well.”

“Does that mean we need three guest rooms for them, plus three for Finn, Rose and Rey?” Iolo provides from his place right next to Sura and Jess, and Poe sighs with the realization that something else is clearly going on here.

He chances a glance at Finn and finds him genuinely confused, as if he doesn’t understand where this conversation is going.

“So, there aren’t enough rooms? We can bunk…” Rose starts to say, but Jess jumps in.

“No! That’s not necessary.”

“Not at all,” Sura complements and then proceeds to do something Poe is all too familiar with, darting her eyes back and forth between Poe and Finn, her expression going from forced concentration to fake surprise in less than three seconds. “Finn can stay with Poe.”

It hits the group with a stretched silence that goes on for about two minutes, while everyone else that hasn’t catch up yet on what’s going on, tries to understand that line of thought.

“Well, but what about those rooms back behind the storage sp…”

“No, Bria, those rooms have a leaking problem, remember? Don’t do well with the freshers’ pipes,” Iolo cuts in and Poe is sure he can see him widening his eyes at Bria, shaking his head slightly.

“Poe?” he hears Finn calling softly and is helpless to do anything but turn around and look at him, which is the worst possible thing he could do right now.

Finn looks… A bit lost. His brow is furrowed, mouth hanging open, both hands on his hips and that expression that takes all of Poe’s defenses away to a place he will never find them again. He doesn’t want to really. He knows this a stupid set up that his friends think constitutes as a fixer-upper for whatever they imagine Poe’s been going through. There are a million things he could say, such as: “Rey and Rose can come too”, or “If you want to stay here, I’m sure Rey wouldn’t mind sharing with you”, or worse “I don’t think this would be a good idea”.

He doesn’t say any of those things. Who is he kidding? Finn is _looking_ at him and Poe’s brain short circuits.

“I have a guest bedroom. That is, if you want.” As soon as the words leave his mouth, Poe feels his cheeks heating gradually, while Finn’s facial expression morphs into a mixture of surprise and content and he quite literally _beams_ at Poe.

“Yeah, sure, I’d like that.” Finn says.

Poe smiles back at him and nods once, turning back to his treacherous squadron and the rest of their party. To Karé and Snap, quiet up until now, but grinning knowingly at Poe, Snap leaning towards his wife for some balance support, her arm wind around his waist. He definitely sees Sura and Jess smirking and is not oblivious to the broad, honest way with which Rey smiles at him.

“Okay, it’s settled then,” she says, before turning to a very confused Bria. “Should we go see where we’re staying?”

* * *

Unsurprisingly, Karé doesn’t want to hear when Poe tries to offer his help with the rest of the day’s training, so there isn’t much for him to do around base at that point.

He spends some time, obviously, talking to Rey while Finn is whisked away by an overly excited Suralinda. They chit-chat about every possible topic that has to do with all things except Finn, which would be weirder if Poe wasn’t so eager to ask about those to Finn himself. They don’t argue, but there’s a bit of banter coming mainly from her (what a lie) and Poe feels his chest constricting with how much he missed her. The unapologetic opinions and sincere smiles that show off her dimples and the way she gracefully doesn’t try to pry anything out of Poe.

She does, however, tell him she’s glad they’re all reunited and Poe has to blink a few times to hide his teary eyes.

When Finn finds them sitting together, having an agitated conversation about Rey’s latest adventures with the _Falcon_ , he gingerly slides down to seat next to Poe and their thighs touch for the next five minutes, without either one of them saying or doing anything about it. And Rey keeps on talking, totally oblivious to the way Poe’s heart is beating so fast he is one second away from going short of breath.

It’s like no time passed between them and when Rose comes by to tell Rey she should go grab her things from the _Falcon_ so they can properly settle in their respective rooms, she turns to Finn after getting up, “You coming?”

He cranes his neck around to look at Poe, raising both eyebrows in question.

“Let’s go. Then we can walk back to my house.” Poe motions for Finn to get up and the three of them set a slow, deliberate pace to the huge ship he hadn’t seen in a while.

But the time for reconciling with the Falcon is not now, so he hangs back while Finn and Rey go inside. With those few minutes to be alone with his own thoughts, Poe is powerless to the path they end up taking.

Needless to say he can’t focus on anything that isn’t the obvious change Finn went through since they last saw each other. When he told Poe about being Force sensitive, he knew what that truth entailed and that Finn would probably follow Rey’s footsteps into becoming a Jedi. That they were together in this, sharing something Poe himself could only understand from what he grew up hearing his parents talk about or when he saw that beautiful tree they had in the backyard. Or when it was used in the worst possible way, to claw inside the deepest tendrils of his brain, making him experience a type of pain no one should ever go through.

Except Finn and Rey could never do that, so the only thing Poe could register from the whole thing was how happy he would always be that both his friends found something fundamentally ingrained in their very beings, that only made them even more special. And to think this was Finn, who once had nothing and only knew what the First Order tried to program into those kids they kidnapped. Despite all the longing and urging he inevitably felt in the time they spent apart, Poe’s chest would swell with pride every time thought of Finn’s bravery in wanting to go look for other people that, just like him, hadn’t want to kill in the name of the First Order.

Now, wearing lighter colors and carrying himself with a slight, new discovered confidence – yes, discovered, because he was only presenting something that was already inside of him – and an addition to his waist belt they’re were definitely going to talk about later, Finn kind of soared around, back straight and shoulders relaxed, bringing with himself a sense of knowing exactly who he was and where he was going.

Poe can sense that feeling growing unabated, fast and stronger than ever before now that Finn is here and he has to stop and count each breath, because it’s just like in the TIE fighter all over again. Heart pounding furiously, fingers tingling with _want_ to touch, to feel, to be closer… He knows, hell, he used to mentally chide himself on a daily basis, fully aware that this is all kinds of wrong seeing that Finn is his friend- _best friend_ and he shouldn’t be nurturing these unrequited feelings for him, it doesn’t matter that Poe started feeling like this since the first moment they locked eyes.

It’s not really important that Finn provokes this set of emotions, causing Poe to question his very existence every time they’re around each other; that Poe wants to take care of him, if though he’s aware that’s the last thing Finn needs, which leads him no another reason as to why he’s so wiped for his best friend. Finn is one of the strongest people Poe ever met, First Order conditioning aside, the man has an honest soul and is good to the very core of his heart.

He is immensely thankful they can exchange intense looks once in a while or platonically hold hands. That he gets to lay down his head on Finn’s lap without it ever becoming a big deal or simply squeeze his shoulder as a reassuring gesture. They don’t need to be in the midst of war, fighting a life threating battle, with blasters and enemy ships, or invading a First Order destroyer for it to be acceptable. This is Finn and he knows there’s no point in trying to hide his affections, he just needs to let it show _too_ much.

“Hey, I’m ready to go.”

Poe lifts his head to find Finn coming down the little ramp, duffle bag in one hand, the other holding a strap of a smaller one thrown on his back and even though it’s extremely stupid, Poe feels happy that Finn owns so many things now. Truth, when they defeated the First Order, Finn had already owned quite the lot, but this was different.

For a moment, he wants to say something incredibly foolish like “We spent too long apart,” but within two seconds he manages to cover it all up with a small smile, nodding to the path leading them out of the hangar.

“Come on, then, buddy.”

They smile at each other and Poe doesn’t ask anything else. He figures they have time to do the talking later.

They have time now.

_ _ _

There’s a meticulous process when they finally reach the destination and after asking three times if he wanted help, only to be politely turned down, Finn stays behind, letting Poe open a dark wood gate that’s about waist high and then motions for Finn to follow him, until they approach a small, one store house that’s painted in a light tone of orange.

Unlike the clinical, black and white place in which Finn grew up in, here he is surrounded by low cut grass, greener than the leafs of the trees, but that are now shining a deeper color because the sun is almost completely down.

When his feet touch the frint steps, Finn is helpless to protest against the fact Poe is grabbing his bags. He should say he’s fine to do it, there’s no need for Poe to carry anything, but he can’t stop looking around. At the huge trunks circling the terrain, or the small hangar he can see in the backyard, with its own roof and double doors.

Poe walks slowly to the front door, giving Finn enough time to catch up and ascend the three steps to the little porch, then Poe turns around to give him a smile before unlocking it and motioning for Finn to go inside.

“Oh,” is all he can say, because seriously…

Finn doesn’t know what he was expecting, from all the stories Poe used to tell about Yavin and the home he grew up in, it was easy to build up an image of a cozy place where love was exchanged daily, a happy couple sitting on the couch seeing their small son crawling around, smiling fondly at him. Thunderous laughter, home cooked meals and Poe, growing up amongst loving parents that molded him into the amazing man he is today.

Evidently, none of his previous daydreams prepared Finn for the onslaught of warm and domestic normalcy that comes with the realization he is standing in Poe’s home. That there’s no war or makeshift shared quarters in bases they couldn’t stay in for long. This is where he was born and raised; worn dark blue couch, beige rug, a kitchen he can see from where he’s standing near the door and a few stray items here and there, indicating that there’s someone living in this house. Not just someone though, and Finn takes a moment to look around at all the picture frames lining the walls and every other hard surface.

He can see Poe as a toddler, sitting on what Finn can only guess is Shara Bey’s lap, smiling broadly at the capture, Kes Dameron right next to them. His face is incredibly handsome, much like Shara’s charming smile and kind eyes and suddenly it’s a bit difficult to breath, because Finn’s heart swells to an unbearable level.

“She was beautiful,” he comments quietly, turning around to see Poe looking – not at the picture from his mother, but at _Finn_ – with a distant expression on his face and a faint smile.

“I wish you would’ve met her,” Poe says simply and Finn nods, he glances at another photograph before catching Poe’s gaze again.

This time, Finn let’s his mouth spread into a grin, letting the feelings inside of him spill out considerably. “I feel like I have, though.”

At this, Poe imitates the gesture and shakes his head, lifting both hands a few inches to wiggle Finn’s bags.

They walk a few steps, past the kitchen and into a small hallway. “The fresher is down the hall and my room is the door right next to it on the left. Yours is the right one. That,” he points at the door opposite the fresher, across the hall. “is my parent’s bedroom, but I don’t use it anymore, so…”

He trails off and shrugs once, walking towards what he said is Finn’s bedroom. Opening the door, Finn can already see there isn’t much space at all. It’s basically one single bed, a window facing the trees outside and a medium sized dresser. Its top is unoccupied, but Poe places both bags on the bed and turns to Finn, placing both hands on his own hips.

Finn can’t help but smile, because he really missed Poe’ small quirks. “Sorry it’s so small, buddy, this used to be some sort of office, but Jess’ was staying here a few months back and we had to make due.”

“It’s perfect.” Finn says, looking significantly at Poe, needing him to understand how much it is true. Even if he feels a little awkward being alone with Poe after a whole year without seeing one another and leaving both Rey and Rose behind at base, Finn can’t help but revel in how good it all is.

That he’s here, finally. After the hard sessions of training he had with Rey, learning the limits of his own body and the unholy hours that followed, when he was too tired to do anything other than crash face first on his bed and drift into sleep, he used to dream about Poe.

It was always about Poe.

He missed the little shoulder squeeze and the warm tingling sensation Poe’s hand left in its wake. He longed to hear Poe’s voice calling him “general”, placing Finn in a position of equality, like a long overdue embrace he never had growing up. He _yearned_ for that small moment after Exegol, when Poe laid his head on Finn’s lap and nothing and no one was able to rip the courage Finn was feeling then, to run his fingers through Poe’s soft curls and just be there with him.

Breathing the same air, sharing the same house, just the two of them – and BB-8, of course, but today the droid decided to catch up with Rey – that was exactly what Finn needed now. Nervousness and uncertainty be damned.

Poe smiles softly at him. “Okay then,” He nods once at Finn, eyes roaming up and down his frame and Finn feels a familiar shiver climbing on his skin. “I’ll get dinner ready, sounds good? You can settle in, however you want. If you want to wash yourself, I think I’ll take about half an hour to put everything together.”

“Do you want some help?” Finn asks politely, not daring to assume anything.

“No, you’re a guest,” Poe answers and with his words, a certain wave of tension washes over them. Finn’s heart constricts inside his chest and he can only shake his head slowly, moving his eyes around the room.

Poe clears his throat and takes one step in the direction of the door Finn is currently standing at. He moves a bit to the side, so Poe can walk past him, still not looking him in the eye. It’s a tight fit, their chests brush ever so slightly and Finn can feel Poe’s breath on his face for one second before he’s gone down the hall.

“That went well,” Finn murmurs to himself, before finally entering the room and closing the door behind him.

* * *

Finn doesn’t take a shower, but he does put all of his stuff inside the drawers and takes off his belt, placing it on top of the dresser.

Taking his vest off, Finn tries to calm himself down enough before going back there.

It’s obvious Poe didn’t mean anything by saying Finn is a guest, _this is_ Poe’s house after all and Finn doesn’t live here. Only there was a time in their lives when the two of them were inseparable. People in their base knew one thing was for sure: Poe Dameron and Finn shared quarters. They worked together. If missions and debriefings allowed it, they had all of their meals together.

Things were simple like that. Sure, sometimes Jess or Sura would throw some quick remark at them, about being attached to the hip, but Finn knew it was just teasing and that Poe didn’t minded. Finn _certainly_ didn’t. They were best friends and since the war forced them to keep moving from base to base, there was no definite home for either of them. So, wherever Finn’s new “home” was, that would be Poe’s too.

Except now, one of them finally got to actually come back home and the other one… Well, Finn still likes to think his home is wherever his friends are. But being here, under the roof that sheltered a real family, with pictures hanging everywhere and being called a “guest”, he feels a sense of emptiness he never thought could be related to Poe.

When he emerges from the bedroom and takes the short walk to the kitchen, Finn’s nostrils are assaulted with a heavenly smell and a very comfortable Poe, weaving around, stirring pots and humming silently to himself, what Finn guesses is a cheery song.

The small spreading on Finn’s face is inevitable, as the innocent image of domesticity unfolds in front of him and threatens to burst his chest with how beautiful it looks.

The kitchen is not that big, with a counter and a square able with four chairs. Soft orange light streams through the light bulb, the sun completely set outside. Finn can see it from the big window facing the backyard.

Poe turns around to grab an ingredient from the counter and sees Finn standing there, arms crossed, leaning on the threshold separating the kitchen from the living room.

He smiles back, but there’s a shadow of hesitation on his features.

“Smells good,” Finn nudges his head in the direction of the oven and just like that Poe’s face softens considerably.

“Thought I’d make a real effort today. You know, when it’s just me and BB-8, I usually eat whatever and the little one beeps sadly at me. Guess he can see how pathetic I am,” Poe laughs humorlessly and Finn rolls his eyes at him.

“You should invite your squadron to eat with you,” Finn suggests, walking to the counter and grabbing the plates and cutlery he can spot, putting upon himself the task to set the table. Poe doesn’t comment on it, just keeps on tending to the food.

“Oh, but I do. Occasionally,” he mutters the last part and Finn scoffs, without turning away from what he’s doing. He can hear Poe turning off the cooker and starting to move things. “It’s just that… They eat. A _lot_. And I don’t have the energy to make food as if this is a mess hall, every single day. So, yeah, I invite them over, I’m not a monster. But…”

“You prefer it when they’re not here,” Finn finishes matter-of-factly and turns around to see Poe shrugging innocently.

“Feel welcome to help me cook then, I’ll invite them over.”

Finn shakes his head, laughing despite himself and finishes placing everything on the table, just as Poe brings in the food and they sit down opposite each other. And, damn…

“Okay, _you_ cooked _these_?” Finn questions, trying – and failing – to suppress a quiet groan when Poe puts a bit of what he made on Finn’s plate. The smell is unlike anything he ever had to eat.

He doesn’t miss the way Poe smiles proudly, casting his eyes down at his own plate. “Blame it on my dad, if you must. Growing up, he made sure to teach me everything he and my mother used to cook. And I kind of like it, now that I don’t have a raging war looming over my head, I can do these simple things and feel…”

“At home.”

They look at each other and understanding passes between them, in a way Finn missed so, so badly. When they start to eat, it’s quiet, but pleasant and the food is the best he’s ever tasted. There’s a fruity drink Poe tells him it was his mother’s specialty and even after one sip, Finn already loves it.

It’s so unbelievably nice and soothing, that Finn thinks for one second that he might be dreaming. Just yesterday, he was discussing strategies with Jannah over holovideos, scrolling through information on his datapad and asking if Rey wanted to do some training before dinner time. And today, he’s having a quiet dinner with Poe, in _Poe’s_ house and they’re smiling at each other, while Finn compliments his food and Poe pretends not to be smug about it.

“So, what about other stormtroopers? Did you guys find more of them?” Poe asks when they’re half through dinner, eyes intent on Finn in a way that makes him want to talk and talk and _talk_ , just to get Poe to keep looking at him like that.

“You have no idea. There are hundreds out there, Poe, on different systems, different planets. Some of them…” Finn trails off when the memories hit him hard and takes a sip of the drink before continuing. “Did not want to hear from a Resistance general, especially want with an invitation for them to join us. I explained the situation, that since there’s no imminent fight anymore and the First Order practically destroyed, they wouldn’t have to get into actual battles, but it came down to nothing.”

“They wanted to be left in peace,” Poe says and Finn nods, taking in the earnest expression across the table, comprehension turning Poe into a great listener and it’s there. One of the things Finn always loved about him, the way Poe is able to care and understand, no matter how foreign the situation might sound to his ears. He allows people to speak and be heard. Finn wants to hug him.

“Yes,” he says instead. “Some were happy to spread our message, to use whatever training the First Order gave to them to be used in evil ways and turn it into something good. I told my story. Jannah told hers. It wasn’t pretty, but I felt like we made a difference, you know?”

Poe’s lips slowly stretch into a small smile, the soft crinkles around his eyes more prominent than ever. “I’m proud of you, Finn. I really am.”

The silence that falls upon them is heavy with the weight of the time they spent apart. He doesn’t care that for most people certain things aren’t considered “default male friend behavior”; that this isn’t a pat on the back or a shoulder squeeze. This is _Poe_ and Finn doesn’t feel out of place, when he slides his hand on the hard surface to touch Poe’s.

Looking down at it, Poe returns the gesture and hangs onto Finn’s hand tightly. “I know it doesn’t seem like it, but I do,” he continues. “When you left, there was these moments where I would turn to the side, ready to ask for your advice and then I remembered you weren’t there. I’m not gonna lie, buddy, it was a bit strange.” Poe laughs softly and Finn can’t do anything other than blink a few times, forcing himself not to cry. “But thinking that you were out there, following your path and finding yourself, that was enough to get me through it. I mean, I have two Jedi friends now, how awesome can that be?”

“I don’t think I’m a Jedi just yet…” Finn starts, but Poe rolls his eyes and squeezes his hand as a reprimand.

“You have a lightsaber. Think I didn’t notice that?”

“Well…” Finn looks down sheepishly.

“Exactly. Look at how far you’ve come and that I get to share a little bit of it with you, right now, it’s all that matters.”

“Poe, you get to share _all_ of it with me. _Anytime_.” Finn lifts his head to stare deep inside those eyes, conveying his feelings in the way their hands are touching. “I don’t care if you resent me…”

“Wow, wow, wow, I don’t resent you!” Poe perks up, sounding a bit frantic and the legs of his chair squeak when he moves to slide it closer to the table. “Why would you think that? Finn, I _missed_ you. Like _crazy_ , buddy. I don’t resent you for leaving to find whatever it was you needed to find, but I sure as hell missed having you by my side every day.”

Okay, now Finn _really_ wants to hug him. Maybe forever. Yep, that’s what he wants to do. To wind his arms around Poe and never let go. How pathetic this is? It was just like a yearlong mission, that both of them assumed would be over eventually, but why does it feel like a lifetime? Why does his skin burns with how much he wants to never be away from Poe again?

He doesn’t act on the needy pleads of his heart, choosing to only squeeze Poe’s hand harder, clutching his fingers for dear life. Finn never once doubted their friendship, since he didn’t know much about ordinary human interactions, the way they behaved with each other seemed and felt… right. From the beginning, he thought it was okay to feel this much intensity when thinking about Poe. When being away from him felt like it could literally kill Finn with worry and longing. When Poe’s touches didn’t feel like Rey’s or Rose’s, but much more alight and special. He never once questioned it.

Until now.

Now, that his soul is basically crawling out of his body with how happy he is to be here. That knowing how badly Poe missed him is making Finn’s head spin. He wants – _needs_ – the damn table to disappear; to cross the space between them and touch more than Poe’s hand.

 _Oh_.

Finn opens his mouth, but nothing comes out and he can only stare back at Poe’s hard gaze, the way he seems to be reading Finn’s mind, deciphering what is left unsaid.

“If there’s a next time,” Finn’s voice sounds unused and weak. “Come with me.”

It’s not a promise, let alone a request. He has no idea if there will ever be a next time or if Poe would be free to tag along, but he feels like it’s the right thing to say. His heart is pounding like crazy and Poe won’t stop looking at him.

“I’d like that.”

After they begrudgingly unlock hands and start to clean up the table, Finn can’t stop feeling giddy whenever his arm brushes Poe’s while they navigate through the kitchen setting things straight. When Finn’s belly touches the sink and he concentrates on washing the dishes, Poe stands right next to him, leaning his hip on the counter, drying cloth in hand, proceeding to tell Finn how his mother hated washing up. They talk and laugh and Finn’s stomach keeps doing funny things whenever Poe says “excuse me” and reaches around Finn to put away pots and cutlery in places Finn’s yet to memorize. He doesn’t know why, but the prospect of becoming familiar with where Poe keeps his things in his house, makes Finn’s heart swell considerably inside his chest.

“We have to be up at the crack of dawn tomorrow or else Suralinda will come over to drag our asses out of bed,” Poe is saying, while they finally finish everything and start to make their way to the living room. Finn is blindly following Poe through the house, when they reach the hallway and then their respective bedroom doors. “But I don’t think there’s much to do in the base, except for training so, if you want, I can show you around town and…”

“And?” Finn questions when Poe suddenly trails off, looking behind Finn’s shoulders to the window facing the backyard.

“And there’s the small piece of land behind the house you didn’t get to see today.” He smiles kind of shyly and Finn wants to touch him again.

 _Stop this_.

“Oh, yeah, it was a long day. I spent most of it in the Falcon, anyway. Wow, it doesn’t seem like that was today,” Finn muses.

Poe laughs softly. “Tell me about it.”

“But I would love to. For you to take me around town and show me your backyard, that is.”

Poe nods slowly, crossing his arms and leaning one shoulder on the threshold. He sighs and gestures towards the fresher door. “If you want to take a shower before bed, I can wait.”

“No, you go… I’ll finish putting my things away.” Finn says, even though he already did that, but wanting some time to sit down and breath. He could shower after Poe.

“Okay, then.”

When Poe’s back is turned and he goes into the bedroom, Finn doesn’t close his own door and just sits on the bed staring out the window. He hears Poe going about everything he has to do, before entering the fresher and locking himself in there.

Finn needs to take a few deep breaths after he’s alone, to calm his aching heart and prevent the stupid smile from spreading across his face.

_This is so idiotic, why am I feeling this way?_

He wishes he could talk to Rey about it. She would probably laugh and shrug, give him an “I don’t know, Finn”, but be supportive nevertheless.

Only, what would he say? He didn’t even know what he was feeling right now, let alone if he was able to express it aloud to someone else, even if that someone was Rey.

The only thing he can make out from the myriad of emotions cursing through him, is that he’s immensely grateful to be here. That Poe is only a few steps away and they will see each other in a few minutes. That he’ll be able to bear Poe goodnight and tuck in, sleep peacefully so he can see Poe again in the morning. That there’s no longer an entire galaxy between them and whatever this mind blowing feeling is, Finn can think about it later.

While he listens to the water running, he takes in the fact this is his life and exactly where he's supposed to be and even if he’s here, in Yavin, only because of a mission, Finn now gets a chance of working things out with Poe and maybe, just maybe, they won’t have to leave each other again.


End file.
